Kent not immune to domestic violence, local resources seek to change its effects
By: Christina Bucciere, Abu Zafar, Alyssa Haberman and Patrick Williams
Cindy Bloom’s ex-husband never hit her.
He screamed at her, he pushed her, he grabbed her arms, and he even choked her, but he never hit her.
“A big part of why I never realized that I was being abused was, when you say domestic violence, you think of somebody getting beaten up, and you don’t really realize all the other things that go along with that,” said Bloom, intimate partner violence (IPV) survivor and violence prevention and outreach services coordinator at Townhall II, a counseling and crisis prevention center in Kent.
And for Bloom, the emotional abuse caused the worst pain.
“The fights in which my ex-husband grabbed me, pushed me or even when he choked me was not nearly as painful as the horrible, horrible things that he said to me, the way that he was controlling and manipulative,” Bloom said. “Those things stick with me, and I still today work on those things.”
Yet, under Ohio law, verbal abuse isn’t considered domestic violence unless there is a threat of physical harm.
According to the U.S. Department of Justice, one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. Domestic violence, also commonly referred to as IPV to encompass relationships beyond marriage, also touches Kent. The city’s resources help victims become survivors and educate the public about this indiscriminatory issue.
The Kent Police Department arrested 98 people for domestic violence in 2013, and according to the Ohio Bureau of Criminal Identification and Investigation, there were 27 victims with a domestic violence-related injury in Kent the same year.
Faces of IPV
Kent, like all cities, is not immune to IPV because there are no demographic determinants that predict who will be a target, said Michelle Culley, licensed professional counselor in Kent.
“I may have thought that before I got into this, but I will tell you there are absolutely no stereotypical victims of domestic violence,” Culley said. “I have worked with women who have their Ph.Ds down to women [for whom] English was not their first language…there is absolutely no discrimination in domestic violence. It affects everyone in all walks of life.”
IPV victims include people of all races, varying income levels, men and same-sex partners, too, Culley said.
“That may be an underserved area actually—is victims of same-sex relationship violence—because they may feel like they don’t have anyone to talk to, maybe they think no one will understand them,” Culley said. “Their situation is just as deadly and dangerous as a heterosexual couple.”
The nation saw a graphic representation of how IPV can affect anyone when a video surfaced of former Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice assaulting his then-fiancee Janay Rice. The video reinvigorated a national conversation about IPV, but Bloom and Culley said they saw no uptick in calls or cases being reported as a result, which might be a symptom of the cycle of violence.
“It may be that that clip was so violent that women who are being violated and are in abusive relationships could not identify with that,” Culley said. “The tape was so dramatic and so gruesome that women who are in violent relationships may be sort of justifying and saying, ‘Well, at least it’s not that bad. My situation is bad, but it’s not that bad.’ ”
Warning Signs
The well-researched cycle of IPV outlines the three typical phases of an abusive relationship. First, tension builds. Second, the tension manifests itself in emotional or physical abuse. Third, the often-called “honeymoon” phase takes place, in which the abuser apologizes and makes the victim feel safe again. Then, the cycle repeats.
While most survivors later see how their relationships fit this cycle, it’s difficult to spot it happening from the beginning, Bloom said.
“In the beginning [my ex] was 90 percent wonderful and 10 percent awful,” Bloom said. “Toward the end, he was 10 percent wonderful and 90 percent awful.”
Jessica Ross, violence prevention and outreach specialist at Townhall II, said the progression toward an abusive relationship can be slow, which makes it difficult for victims to realize it’s happening.
“You don’t go out on a first date and they beat the crap out of you,” Ross said. “It’s very, very slow and hard to see, and you make excuses. When you like or love someone, those feelings dominate and get in the way of seeing warning signs. By the time you realize the warning signs, it’s so far in and you love them and may have kids. It’s never easy. If it were that easy nobody would stay.”
On social media, many asked why Janay Rice stayed with her husband after the video of him assaulting her surfaced, but Bloom said it’s simply not that easy.
“There are so many different dynamics that go into a domestic violence relationship,” Bloom said. “Typically, most think if someone hit me I’d leave….but, usually what happens is there’s a lot leading up to it, if there ever is any physical violence. Abusers use power tactics, manipulation and control, and lots of times people feel it’s their fault.”
Other factors such as finances, children and the feelings the victim has for the abuser stop victims from terminating the relationship, Bloom said.
Legal Repercussions
Because many victims choose not to leave their abusers, the prosecution rate for IPV is low, said Lt. Jim Prusha of the Kent Police Department.
RPA GroupProject Prusha from Alyssa Haberman on Vimeo.
When victims report IPV, they are often conflicted about bringing charges against his or her abuser, but they also want someone to intervene, Prusha said.
“ ‘Just make him go away,’ is usually the common thing,” Prusha said victims often tell him. “‘I just wanted you to make him go away.’ ”
If the victim does press domestic violence charges against his or her abuser, Prusha said the police department automatically files a motion to the municipal court for a civil protection order, but victims often don’t show up to court to follow through with the process.
“The lack of convictions is frustrating. Going back to the same house and seeing the same victim returning to get beat up again is frustrating for police officers,” Prusha said.
Even when victims go through with charges and receive civil protection orders against their abusers, the orders are not always effective, said Diana Prehn, attorney at Giulitto Law Offices in Ravenna.
Civil protection orders can be effective in giving the victim some space and time from the abuser, Prehn said, but other than that, they don’t carry much weight.
“I tell all of my clients that a civil protection order will not stop a bullet,” Prehn said. “If somebody is determined to hurt you, a piece of paper is not going to stop them.”
In most cases, however, victims never get to the point of filing for a civil protection order, Prehn said.
“Most women or victims who do file charges don’t show up to court,” Prehn said. “They’re upset at the time it happens, but they don’t want their abuser to get in trouble. It’s frustrating because we want to help.”
Local Resources
For those victims who are ready for help, local resources can provide support, guidance or even a place to stay safely away from their abuser.
RPA GroupProject SaferFutures from Alyssa Haberman on Vimeo.
Safer Futures, the domestic violence shelter in Portage County, has helped 88 women and 82 children IPV victims this year, said Donya Buchanan, program manager of Safer Futures. 
Victims can stay up to 90 days, and the shelter provides case management for each victim to help them reach or maintain their goals. Those goals could include finding housing, securing a job, getting children enrolled in school or any other goal the victim might have after leaving their abuser, Buchanan said.
“One of the things we don’t do, as strange as it sounds, is we don’t tell them, ‘Don’t go back,’ ” Buchanan said. “Because that’s another instance where they’re being told what to do, and they’re being controlled.”
Instead, case managers offer victims support, allow them to do what they feel is best and make sure victims know they can always come back for help, Buchanan said.
Townhall II offers support services for IPV victims such as a 24-hour helpline manned by trained crisis interventionists and victim advocates.
Crisis interventionists undergo 80 hours of training to learn how to respond to violence and victimization, and victim advocates go through 40 hours of training to learn how to help victims through whatever process they choose to handle their situation.
“When someone is a victim, sometimes they don’t know what to do,” Bloom said. “People are pushing them, and they may not be comfortable with those things. A lot of people want you to call the police or leave them, and the victim feels pressured, so they don’t reach out anymore. The advocate is there just for the victim to listen, support and talk about safety.”
Townhall II also focuses on its violence prevention programs in high schools and colleges that educate students about being an active bystander who will intervene in assault or violence scenarios.
It’s this focus on prevention that will combat the negative behaviors that can lead to abuse or violence, Bloom said.
People often think of prevention as giving people tools not to be victims, but Bloom said that’s not the right mindset.
“You can’t help being a victim; it’s not your fault,” Bloom said. “Prevention is preventing perpetration. One week of programming is not a long enough time for this. It needs to be from the time children are born that they’re taught what a healthy relationship looks like, what’s OK and what’s not.”
The time when society talks about IPV in the “correct” way is still a ways off, Bloom said.
“It’s sad to think about,” Bloom said. “When you see the Ray Rice video, and your first reaction is, ‘I can’t believe she married him,’ instead of, ‘I can’t believe he hit her,’ we’re far away from this ending.”
